Friday 17 April 2015

Goodnight

The handsome middle aged man, his sun-bleached fair hair catching the last of the summer evening light, sighed heavily as the phone call came to its end, and the connection was broken. His partner, dark haired and deeply tanned, came into the living room.

"Anthony?"

Not trusting himself to speak, the man simply nodded.

"Is it time, Xander?"

"Y....yeah, we'd....better go." Xander's voice wavered with emotion.

"It's best, you know that, of course?"

"Yeah, b....but...." Xander's face suddenly resembled, somehow, that of a lost little boy. "Oh, Robert, it's been such a long time, it's like he's always....been there."

"I....I know, darling, I feel just the same way about him, you know that. Anthony will need us there, too. Look, let's go, I'll drive, it won't take long."

Robert gently took his husband's hand, and quietly led him out of the front door, settling Xander into the passenger seat of the little electric car. Within a minute or so, they were on their way along the quiet evening roads of the Atlantic island where they'd lived for twenty years, heading for a moment they knew, deep down, was inevitable, but that both had hoped would never come.

Half an hour brought Xander and Robert to the driveway of a familiar, oh so familiar, yellow painted two storey house, across the road from a narrow beach, and the now dark waters of the ocean.

"He's always loved it here, Robert, right from the first day they moved in. If....if it's got to be anywhere, th....this is....the best place."

Robert didn't answer in words, but simply drew Xander towards him, kissing him tenderly.

The pair walked to the front door, which opened noiselessly as the small biometric sensor set in its lintel 'recognised' them. Another couple, much the same age, met them in the hallway.

"Hi guys," Robert said. "What's happening?"

Callum, Robert's cousin, answered quietly, Marcus, his long term partner, at his side, lending his unspoken solidarity.

"He's taken the first dose. It's all on schedule. He's very comfortable, propped up, sipping a glass of cava."

Xander smiled wanly. "What else?!"

"You know it! The second dose is due in a few minutes. He....he wants you to help him with that, I think, Xander. Anthony did the first one, and he'll do the last, but....well, go and talk to him, maybe?"

Xander nodded, almost imperceptibly.

"I don't want to, but I really want to, if you know what I mean? He's on the balcony, I guess?"

Callum laid a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Yeah, shall we go up there?"

The four men climbed the dozen or so stairs to the first floor, doubling back on themselves at the head of the flight, through the master bedroom and out onto a broad terrace. A slightly built man, with light brown eyes and sandy hair, looked up at their approach, trying to smile, but not quite managing.

"Thank you for coming."

"Oh, Anthony, where else could we possibly be?" Xander exclaimed, albeit at little above a whisper.

The smile that had been stillborn before lit up Anthony's face.

"Sorry, Xander, I know, of course!"

Anthony beckoned Xander and Robert over to where he knelt, alongside a deeply padded sun lounger. The occupant of the item of furniture, a frail, elderly grey-haired man, stirred from what appeared to be a light sleep, turning his head slightly to look up at the new arrivals, although his attention was focused on one face in particular. His lips curved slowly into a beatific smile.

"Hi, sweetheart."

Xander fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him with every ounce of willpower he possessed.

"Hi, David." Xander nodded towards the small table to the man's left. "A good bottle?"

"The best one left. I've drunk the rest. Waste not, want not!"

David's eyes twinkled, and Xander couldn't suppress, even if he'd wanted to, a boyish grin.

"You bloody drunkard! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Oh, I am, you can imagine, I'm sure!"

"Yeah, right! You haven't been ashamed of anything since that Tuesday night when your husband got off the bus in Playa del Inglés. and damn bloody right, too!"

"You always did know me too well, darling! Share a glass with me, please?"

Another heave of emotion, almost too much to bear, shuddered through Xander's body, but, once more, he managed to bring himself back under control.

"I'd love to."

Robert, in the way he always had, since he and Xander had committed to each other when they were 10 years old, was on hand to do what was needed, in this case handing his love a delicate crystal glass, which Xander filled, before topping up the matching glass in David's trembling hand.

"Cheers, Xander. Here's....here's to all the good times, past, present and future."

Xander smiled, but couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"Don't cry, sweetheart, please. It's all been so wonderful, every day, every hour I've spent with you. Let's all enjoy the time that's left."

Anthony squeezed Xander's fingers affectionately, dabbing the older man's tears away with a clean white handkerchief.

"It's time for the next dose, Xander. Can you help David, please?" Anthony pressed a small vial of bluish fluid into Xander's hand. "Just hold it for him, he can drink it when he's ready."

Xander felt like throwing the stuff into the sea, but knew he couldn't, mustn't, he had to be strong for the man he'd loved, and who had loved him, for so many years. After another sip or two of wine, David caught Xander's eye, and spoke softly.

"Now, please, sweetheart, It's time."

Xander, as he remembered it later, switched his conscious mind off totally at that point, allowing instead an almost automaton-like process to take over, lifting the bottle to the old man's mouth, holding it in place while the contents slipped, with one visible swallow, into David's body. David slowly licked the residue from his lips, then took a large gulp from his wineglass.

"It's gone now, Xander. Kiss me, please, it's safe."

Xander gently touched his lips to David's, just for a few seconds. David closed his eyes, and sighed contentedly.

"You've always been a fantastic kisser, Alexander Bellingham. But then, you had a good teacher!" David turned his head as far as his position allowed, and winked at Robert, who couldn't help but laugh aloud. "Thank you so much, Robert, for sharing the love of your life with me. It's far more than I've ever deserved. And that's without mentioning you helping me find my soulmate, too. I might never have met Tony if it wasn't for you."

"There's nothing to thank me for, David. You deserve everything good that you've had. You couldn't have been a better friend."

David smiled, but more wanly than before. "Tony, I'm getting tired now. Time for the last dose, I think, my sweet."

Anthony drew a huge, audible breath, and shook his head, as though he couldn't bring himself to continue.

"You know it's time, my darling, darling boy. You know I'd never ask you if it wasn't the right thing to do, for both of us."

Anthony blanched, but nodded, too. "Of course, David, my love. I know I have to let you go. I wanted to keep you for always, but not at your expense, ever. I love you so much."

"And I love you just as much, Tony. Let's do it."

Anthony broke open a blister pack, and took a syringe into his hand. He looked into David's eyes with the same intensity as on the day he'd first met his life partner, 35 years earlier.

"Ready, David?"

"Yes." David said, firmly.

The needle pressed home almost without the old man feeling its sting.

"Thank you, my love. Hold me, please." David's right hand reached out, seeking Xander's. "You too, sweetheart, if you don't mind."

Anthony and Xander gently wrapped their arms around David's fragile body, and, within seconds, the old man's breathing became shallow.

"I....I'm going to go to sleep now. And dream about my two lovely boys, forever. Goodnight, Tony. Goodnight, Xander."

One last flutter of the eyelids, one last little breath. And then he was gone.

****

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

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